we have pet lesbian snakes
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He better not be in your backpack
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
