call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
