I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
