You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
