So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
