he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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