My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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