South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
