stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
