I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize