At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
