Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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