i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think your dad took our porno
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
