the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
