They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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