Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
