hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
