so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
