if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
