the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize