I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
