FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
