I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
