A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
