I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
