I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
