his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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