is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize