Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize