Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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