it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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