It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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