Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize