How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
