Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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