my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
