watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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