I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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