would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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