I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
