this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
