You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
