Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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