Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
