I want to stick my p in your. b.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
