i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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