When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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