I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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