using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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