You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
