I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No...this little piggys going to the bar
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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