my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
