You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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