never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
