There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can I color on your dick again?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
