So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
