God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
