I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
